I am an Atheist

a·the·ist/ˈeɪθiɪst/ Show Spelled[ey-thee-ist]

–noun

a person who denies or disbelieves the existence of a supreme being or beings.

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Origin:
1565–75;  < Gk áthe ( os ) godless + -ist

—Related forms

an·ti·a·the·ist, noun, adjective

pro·a·the·ist, noun, adjective

—Can be confused:  agnostic, atheist, deist, theist.

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Yep, that means I don't believe in god, or anything that any religion has to say about supernatural stuff. It does not mean I eat babies.  It does not mean I hate the world, or that I am immoral. It doesn't mean anything other than what the word means.

I was not always of the opinion that god does not exist. Once, I wanted with all my heart for there to be a god. When I was young, about seventeen or eighteen, I went looking for god. My mother and father had raised me as a christian in the deep bible belt of southern Texas. Though not strict enough to go every Sunday, my mother did insist that the family go on the 'important' days. I'm sure many people know about that, seemed that's just what everyone did. God only demanded you were there on Easter, or any of the other major holidays.

Growing up I never really questioned it, just dreaded it mostly. But as I got older I had experiences where I would ask, no beg, god to help me. "Please, just this once, I'll go to church if you make this happen." It never seemed to work. So the seeds of doubt came, and I began to look harder. I started reading. I read bits of the bible at first, but it wasn't giving me the answers I wanted. I went to churches and asked the priests and preachers, but nothing was ever simple.

I went to church alone, without my parents. I'm sure they thought I was crazy for going by myself on regular Sundays. I joined other churches, such as a Mormon church I attended for a few months. I read in the library about all the other religions that the world had to offer, thinking that maybe one of them had an answer. I won't go through all the details but after reading the whole of the bible, asking every religious figure I knew, and even going so far as to seek out different religions, I had found more questions than answers.

I realized, slowly, that there were no answers. It was a sham, and the institutions that claimed to know the meaning of life, where we go when we die, where we come from, and why we are here, knew nothing but parables and myths. My detailed questions to the people who were supposed to know these answers were answered only with metaphor and fables.

Eventually, exhausted and tired of searching, I gave up. I have spent the last 14 years without faith in anything supernatural. As the years passed and I read more of my new favorite subjects, Biology, Astronomy, Physics, and Chemistry I found many of the answers I had been searching for. If only I had known then that I was quite literally looking in the wrong place.

I have learned many things, and now, returning to college in the middle of my life, I am finding even more answers in the sciences and history classes that are required courses for any degree. If these answers are here, I wonder, and they are taught to everyone who attains even the most basic degree, why then do so many people still cling to the superstition and impossibly false beliefs of religion?

Many books have been written on the subject. I've had many a discussion about this with friends and family. I'm sure some people will argue their position even if they know they are wrong simply because they are stubborn and need to be right. Some hide their lack of belief for fear of rejection from family and friends. Some know that if they confess their doubts they could lose their job, or their political station. Why do atheists have to hide?

Recently I was informed that my view of faith is wrong. That if I would only read the bible with an open and humble heart I would find god. So I discussed the idea with some friends and came to the conclusion that I will, in fact, read the bible again. But this time I won't just read it, I will blog it.

Here is my goal: I will read everyday, or as close as I can come to everyday for one section of the bible. As an example: Genesis 1:1 to Genesis 1:38 and the next day will be Genesis 2:1 etc. I will then interpret what the passages say. At the end of a major story or chapter I will summarize what the chapter means as I read it.

I will post each day that I read, and each time I will attempt to interpret the passages. Maybe, just maybe, I will find that elusive god that everyone seems to know all about.

Maybe I will find god, or maybe I will have a few good laughs at a silly old book.

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Notes:
My bible is: Oxford University Press, New Scofield Reference Edition, Holy Bible/Concordance, printed 1967, original printing 1917.

I am going to try leaving comments as open as I can, but if the comments are hateful or threatening, the comments will become moderated to preserve the openness that this blog is intended to represent. Please comment and discuss while remaining respectful.